Forgetting What Lies Behind
When Reflection Turns Into Obsession
Sometimes, in my desire for healing, I am tempted to dig around in my past. To pull up memories, sort them, figure them out in an attempt to understand them. My mind, hurt by past trauma from childhood, occasionally experiences “triggers”. These triggers more often than not lead to a deep introspection.
Sometimes I get lost there. It can be hard to refocus my mind on the present. To break the thought patterns of “making sense of it.”
I have written before how my thirties have been a growth filled time for me. Indeed some reflection has been necessary to process and heal.
But… and yes, there is a but… I don’t think I’m meant to stay there.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar mental state as well?
Perhaps you haven’t had childhood trauma. Perhaps you have a difficult memory or hard time that sometimes makes its way to the forefront of your mind. I’ve been there too.
So, this week when I was once again dealing with some unwanted memories from my childhood, I decided to dive into God’s word.
“One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14 (ESV)
I want to be careful to not use this passage out of context, however I think we can broadly apply Paul’s encouragement to our own lives in dealing with our past - much of the Bible points us to continue on in the faith. To abide with Christ. To walk in the spirit. To get going… To not linger in the past - the sins, the brokenness, the hurt done to us, the hurt we may have caused.
Here, Paul was recalling his former life as a pharisee… he followed the law, persecuted Christians, and was walking in self righteousness. An encounter with Jesus changed everything.
What if Paul constantly revisited those thoughts from his past? I’m sure he thought about them from time to time, and by God’s grace was able to shift back into his mission… but let’s sit here a minute. What if Paul was continually in frustrated, grief filled, brokenness over his past? What if he was mentally wrestling hoping that thinking it through would help him understand why he was the way he was? What if he dwelled on it to the point of mental exhaustion? What if he only allowed his mind to dwell on the condemnation placed upon himself, even though Christ forgave him?
If you are familiar with your Bible, you know in fact that Paul was not living in the past.
His boast was that which he was constantly pushing for the recipients of his letters to grasp: that in Christ you are a NEW creation!
Christ Jesus made us His own. (v. 12)
When God calls us to move on from our past it isn’t to inflict hurt on us. God’s ways are good. The pain he allows in our lives, though difficult to understand in our frailty, is for his purposes - and if we are in Christ, it’s for our good.
So where does that leave us? Where does that leave me when the thoughts come faster than I have time to push them back? Do I white knuckle my way out of trying to forget what lies behind?
I have some ideas that may help others in this fight of the mind. Dear sister or brother in Christ - this is a battle we can win.
Let’s get to it.
Grieve what you didn’t have, or that which you long for.
The Psalms of lament show us that grief is a part of being human. God can handle the depths of pain we experience. Psalm 42 - My tears have been my food day and night…Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.Remember your Savior who is acquainted with grief.
Isaiah 53:3 He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.Do what’s right in front of you.
Call it the next right thing, get busy, whatever. Get on mission! You are needed in the Kingdom! Sometimes when I’m going down that familiar thought path I get snapped out of it simply by tending to my kiddos - getting a snack for them, playing a game, anything. Getting myself out of my head and into the moment has been a huge help.Forgive and trust that God has the final say.
If we aren’t careful, these thoughts can turn to bitterness. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you put off bitter, ruminating thoughts, and put on the armor of God. Remember - vengeance is the Lord’s! (see Hebrews 10: 30)Embrace the language of the New Testament as your identity.
It’s just everywhere! In Christ you are a NEW creation. Such WERE some of you. Those were your FORMER ways. Apply this truth to parts of the past that you can’t let go of. I’ll go first. Some of mine were “helpless,” “abandoned,” “misunderstood”, “scared” “rejected” … That is not who I am today. Today I am a new creation. Helped by the Holy Spirit - I have a say in my life! I am not helpless any longer. Home is within the kingdom of God. Jesus understands. He gives me confidence over things that make me scared or uneasy… My identity is in him - what can I be afraid of?
I urge you my fellow sisters and brothers in Christ who have any sort of trauma in your past - embrace your new identity in Christ and press onward. Reflect, process… don’t obsess.
This doesn’t mean we are accepting mental defeat. It doesn’t excuse the pain or hardship. It doesn’t minimize the pain we endured. It helps us move on in taking steps to mental health.
We are all a work in progress. Like Paul says in Philippians 3, I have not yet attained it. But I know the Lord will complete the good work he started in me. His grace is sufficient. His mercies are new every morning.
Let us place our trust in the Holy Spirit to help heal our minds - to stay on mission for the Lord - obeying him, trusting him, growing in him… Dealing with triggers as they come, seeking professional help when appropriate, and ultimately positioning our hearts to soak up the word of God that transforms our mind. It’s living water to the weary soul. And oh how weary our souls can become when dwelling on the past.
Come to him - his living water is available to all who thirst. Drink, and be refreshed.
“Jesus stood up and cried out, ‘If anyone thirsts, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, ‘Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.’”
Going Further:
Here are some additional scriptures to help encourage us to forget the former things and press on in Christ.
Philippians 3:13–14 Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize.
Isaiah 43:18–19 Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing.
2 Corinthians 5:17 If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
Luke 9:62 No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.
Hebrews 12:1–2 Let us throw off everything that hinders… and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus…
1 Corinthians 9:24 Run in such a way as to get the prize.
Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him.
Verses for dealing with grieving your past trauma.
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 42:9–11 Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy? … Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me?
Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Psalm 27:10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.
Isaiah 53:3 He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.
Psalm 56:8 You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 There is a time for everything… a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn…
Joel 2:25 I will restore to you the years that the locusts have eaten.
